Connecting To My Emotions Made Me Feel Alive Again

By Chiara Hardie.

"I don't believe in therapy. Therapy looks at your past” - that was my understanding in my twenties.

I turned to coaching. I wanted to look at my future and make a change in my present, because I didn’t like the way that it was: I had an unhappy marriage, a stressful job, and a misalignment in values shared with people around me. 

I was living my life completely in my Masculine.

Coaching did help me… to a degree. I managed to make some massive changes with the compassionate, non-judgmental support of a coach: I quit the unhappy marriage and the corporate life that was eating me out, and I pursued the career I'd always wanted to have.

Yet, something was still missing.

I Hated My Therapy Journey

I did try therapy, in the end. Traditional, talk therapy. And I hated it. I felt I was repeating myself over and over again, receiving a pat on the back from the therapist, but nothing was really moving.

I kept feeling empty and unfulfilled.

So I decided to “go big or go home” - as they say.

How Primal Therapy Made Me Turn The First Corner

I chose a type of inner work that really makes you confront your demons… and befriend them. I discovered primal therapy and exposure work, which finally taught me:

1.  That I was allowed to be fully myself, getting past that dreaded fear of judgment
2.  How to see my parents differently, so I could reframe my relationship with them
3.  How to communicate my needs and boundaries fearlessly - to anyone
4.  How I was longing to show up in my romantic life, and what I needed from romantic partners

It’s like it taught me to speak a brand-new language that was finally making me feel seen and understood. And thanks to that new vocabulary, I found the love of my life Will.

(If you're curious about this modality, Will and I facilitate retreats with a renowned Primal Therapist - ask for info here).

Bodywork Was The Other Missing Piece

Yet, I continued to have chronic pain in my back - for years.

I had heard of something called Bodywork and thought "why not - what do I have to lose?"

And THAT is when everything really turned for me:

•  I was able to access a lot of anger and sadness that I had kept in, trying to control it and repress it for decades 

•  I learnt to connect to parts of my body that I had numbed and that would keep me up at night

•  I finally listened to what my body (vs. my mind) had to say - I figured what I was really feeling.

• I stopped analyzing the root of the pain. I just allowed myself to feel it in full, until it went away once and for all. Bodywork saved my back, fixed my sleep and brought my sanity back.

I love growing constantly and learning new modalities that I can share with the world. Which is why today I facilitate Primal group retreats, and work as a coach and bodyworker 1:1.

What Bodywork Does For You

If you’re struggling with anything like:

• anxiety
• a general sense of unease with life
• stress
• anger or resentment
• you don't feel seen

Look for a bodyworker near you – or do reach out.

I blend trauma-informed Bodywork with Somatic Experiencing, modern Tantra practices, meditation and Compassionate Inquiry coaching, so you don’t waste years going around in circles.

Having experienced first-hand and then studied all of these modalities for years, I now work with selected clients who want to put an end to their misery, find inner peace, and move forward in life.